When School Feels Hard
If getting your student to school has become a daily struggle, you are not alone, and help is available. This page starts with working with the school, then offers a book to begin with, professional help, and support for parents.
A few things worth knowing
- There is usually something real underneath. When a student avoids school, the reason may be worry, a health problem, trouble with schoolwork, a conflict or safety concern, or a need related to a disability. Often more than one thing is going on.
- For anxiety, small supported steps tend to help. Avoiding school can make the worry stronger over time. Your student does not have to feel ready before small, supported steps back begin.
- Check the basics first. Health symptoms, safety or bullying, and learning or access needs need their own answers, not pushing through.
Start with North Creek
Report or correct an absence
Call the attendance line at 425-408-8810 (voicemail, any time) or email NCHSAttendance@nsd.org. Include your student’s name, student ID if you have it, the date, and the reason. Please report absences promptly.
Ask for help with attendance
Contact your student’s counselor through the Counseling Office: 425-408-8819 or amanning@nsd.org. If your student has an IEP, you can include their case manager too.
Tell us what is making school hard, what you have already tried, and what might make the next school day easier.
You do not need ParentVUE to reach a person, and you do not need to know the cause before you ask for help. Interpreter services are available at no cost; just tell us the language that works best for your family.
What to do next
1. Understand what makes school hard. Ask about health symptoms, safety or bullying, schoolwork, sensory or disability-related needs, friendships, and worries about going back. More than one may be involved.
2. Contact the school and agree on a next step. Decide together who will greet or check in with your student, which part of the day needs the most support, what the school and family will each do, and when you will review the plan. Ask for help catching up on missed work so it does not become another barrier.
3. If anxiety is driving it, ask about supported, gradual practice. Plan the approach with the school and, when needed, a qualified clinician. Keep your student’s IEP or 504 supports in place while the team reviews what they need.
If your student has an IEP or Section 504 plan, the team meets to consider the reasons for the absences. If you think a disability may be involved, you can ask about an evaluation.
A starting point for families
Many families find it helps to read while they work with the school. We suggest this book as a starting point, used together with your student’s counselor, and case manager if your student has an IEP. It does not replace school support or professional care, and you do not need it to get help from us.
Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents
Eli R. Lebowitz, PhD · Oxford University Press
A guide for parents to SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions), a parent-based approach developed at the Yale Child Study Center. It explains how parents can respond supportively to anxiety while gradually changing family patterns that can keep anxiety going. Parents can use it even when their student is not in therapy.
SPACE has been tested in clinical trials for childhood anxiety. The book explains the approach; it can help, and results vary from family to family.
A note on the word “accommodation.” In SPACE, accommodation means the ways family members change their own routines to help a child avoid anxiety. That is different from the supports in an IEP, a Section 504 plan, or a health or access plan. Keep those supports in place, and talk with your student’s team before changing anything at school.
Borrow it free from your public library, such as King County Library System (Bothell) or Sno-Isle Libraries; ask whether a copy is available. It is also sold by booksellers (publisher page).
Other reading and learning
Helping Your Anxious Child
Book for parents
Ronald Rapee and coauthors, third edition. A CBT-based workbook for understanding and responding to anxiety in children.
Anxiety Relief for Teens
Book for teens · Ages 13–17
Regine Galanti, PhD. CBT and mindfulness skills written for teens; parents and students can read it together.
Coping Cat and the C.A.T. Project
Workbooks
CBT workbooks for children (Coping Cat) and teens (C.A.T. Project), usually used with a therapist.
Child Mind Institute
Articles and videos · Free
Free articles and videos for parents on anxiety and supporting an anxious teen.
SPACE Treatment
About the approach
More about the parent-based approach in the book, including how to find a provider trained in it.
Anxiety and Depression Association of America
Information · Free
Plain-language information on anxiety and depression in children and teens.
Professional help
Getting professional help
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), including gradual exposure, is a well-studied treatment for anxiety in children and teens. These can help you find care.
Washington Mental Health Referral Service for Children and Teens
Washington residents 17 and under · Free
Run by Seattle Children’s. Helps families find mental-health providers in the community who fit their child’s needs and insurance. Teens ages 13–17 can call for themselves. The service helps you find care; it does not provide treatment.
833-303-5437, Monday–Friday, 8 a.m.–5 p.m. Interpreter line: 866-583-1527.
Students 18 and older
Adult care
The referral service above serves ages 17 and under. For an 18-year-old, start with their primary care provider or your insurance plan’s member services, or use the directories below and look for providers who see young adults.
Therapist directories
Mood and Anxiety Program, Seattle Children’s
Ages 5–17
Specialty evaluation and short-term care for anxiety, OCD, and related concerns, with options for parents and children. Call to ask how referrals work and whether your student’s needs fit the program. Check that Seattle Children’s is in-network for mental health on your plan.
Directory insurance information can be out of date. Before a first visit, confirm the specific clinician, service, location, and plan with both your insurer and the provider.
Therapist directories
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Directory |
What it is good for |
Insurance |
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A large directory. Search by ZIP code, then narrow by concern (such as anxiety), age (teens), therapy type (such as CBT), and in-person or online. |
Filters by insurance carrier; confirm with your plan and the provider. |
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Participating members of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies. Search for CBT-trained clinicians by location and specialty. |
Confirm directly with the provider. |
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Clinicians who focus on anxiety, OCD, and depression. |
Filters for accepting some insurance, Medicaid, Medicare, and sliding scale; confirm your plan directly. |
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For OCD: therapists, clinics, and programs. Filter by location, ages served, language, and treatment approach. |
Payment-type filter; confirm your plan directly. |
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Reduced-fee therapy for people who cannot afford market rates and have no or inadequate mental-health coverage. One-time $65 membership; individual sessions $40–70 (checked September 2026). Confirm the therapist works with teens. |
Paid out of pocket at a reduced fee. |
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Your insurance plan |
Use your plan’s provider search or the member services number on your card; look for behavioral health, child and adolescent, anxiety. |
A starting point; confirm the specific clinician and service. |
Parent and family support
You are not alone
Talking with other parents who understand can help. Each option works a little differently.
NAMI Eastside family support
Eastside and Bothell area · Free · Peer-led
Free, peer-led support groups for adults caring for someone with mental-health challenges. Groups meet on Zoom and in person; check the current schedule for days and formats.
425-885-6264 · info@nami-eastside.org
A Common Voice: C.O.P.E. parent support
Washington State · Free
Parent support groups and one-to-one support for caregivers of young people ages 2–22 with behavioral or emotional challenges. No insurance is needed.
School Avoidance Alliance
National · Free and paid options
Focused specifically on school avoidance. A free parent group is joined through the organization’s Facebook Page. A separate paid online community costs about $18 a month (checked September 2026); see its page for what is included.
Facebook Page · Paid community
ADAA online peer support
National · Free · English and Spanish
Free, anonymous, moderated online communities where you can read and post any time. Not crisis support or therapy.
International OCD Foundation groups
When OCD is part of the picture
IOCDF lists support groups, including a free monthly parent group on Zoom; email its coordinator before your first visit. Costs, ages, and schedules vary by group.
PAVE
Washington State · Free
Not a peer group. PAVE’s Parent Training and Information program offers free help with IEPs, Section 504 plans, and disability rights in Washington schools.
wapave.org · Behavioral health and school
If you need help right now
Call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, 24 hours). In an emergency, call 911.
For same-day, non-emergency mental-health care for ages 4–17, Seattle Children’s Psychiatric Urgent Care offers in-person and video visits. Check today’s availability and book online; walk-ins are not guaranteed.
Not sure which page fits?
Start with the school. You do not need to know the cause before asking for help. For transportation, housing, and other practical barriers, see Attendance and Engagement Support.
Resources last checked September 2026. This page is maintained by the North Creek Assistant Principals. Outside organizations are listed for families’ information; North Creek High School and Northshore School District are not responsible for their services and receive no compensation from them. Services, schedules, fees, and eligibility change, so please confirm with the organization. We suggest the book above as a starting point; we are not affiliated with its author or publisher. This page does not provide medical advice; please consult a qualified professional for diagnosis and treatment.